This is the funniest newsletter on Substack
A lot of you have forgotten to tell me you love me.
Will you promise that Bad-Ass AI Brooke won't be the one to respond to any such message so I don't end up crying?
I wrote you a poem about piss and tears, what else would you need?
A serious sin. They must repent or face 100 years of purgatory.
Once again, attracting only the crème de la crème of the gender. As a man. I'm embarrassed by-and for-them.
Understandable
Right there with you on that, Jeff.
You poor thing, between the floods of tears and your shoes being perpetually damp already, your feet must be soaked. Do you need a towel and some fresh socks?
The men can never tell if it’s tears or piss. 🫤
Also yes
It's that sense of fluid mystery, it's almost romantic you know.
And sparkling her shoes do shine
With sunlight glitt'ring off the toes,
Her ankles damp with sodden brine
And men dumbfounded as she goes
For perfect footprints she doth make
Of piss and tears along her wake
I need more Instagram bot content immediately.
I got you! https://www.threads.com/@theletsnotdate/post/DJcETU7tGuc?xmt=AQF0sQVmiJ8XxarvqW8MHwxqiXO0vvJ6dni6zSExchmD1g
heart, love, share. Done.
🥹🥹🥹
Thank you 😭
🥹
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile. Instant subscribe 😂
This is the definition of chaotic neutral
Cry it out Brooke! 💜
I love you but it’s a little cruel teasing Tiny Timmy’s somewhat linguistically challenged wife. Was his dicpic a thumbnail?
A) That’s not me. It’s a bot and I was extremely clear about that.
B) Women who mock other women calling them whores because their own husband sexually harassed the women, do not deserve my sympathy.
C) It’s up to you as a reader whether or not you mock her for her linguistic skills. Don’t put your thoughts on me.
D) while we are on the topic of being mean, we don’t mock men for their penis size here.
I don’t think I’ve ever blinked in fright before reading this post.
Bonus points to Thomas for using one of my favorite words — holler. 🥳
I love you!
☠️
Keep those skewers sharp and the wit flowing!
Yes, I love you.
Duh.
A lot of you have forgotten to tell me you love me.
Will you promise that Bad-Ass AI Brooke won't be the one to respond to any such message so I don't end up crying?
I wrote you a poem about piss and tears, what else would you need?
A serious sin. They must repent or face 100 years of purgatory.
Once again, attracting only the crème de la crème of the gender. As a man. I'm embarrassed by-and for-them.
Understandable
Right there with you on that, Jeff.
You poor thing, between the floods of tears and your shoes being perpetually damp already, your feet must be soaked. Do you need a towel and some fresh socks?
The men can never tell if it’s tears or piss. 🫤
Also yes
It's that sense of fluid mystery, it's almost romantic you know.
And sparkling her shoes do shine
With sunlight glitt'ring off the toes,
Her ankles damp with sodden brine
And men dumbfounded as she goes
For perfect footprints she doth make
Of piss and tears along her wake
I need more Instagram bot content immediately.
I got you! https://www.threads.com/@theletsnotdate/post/DJcETU7tGuc?xmt=AQF0sQVmiJ8XxarvqW8MHwxqiXO0vvJ6dni6zSExchmD1g
heart, love, share. Done.
🥹🥹🥹
Thank you 😭
🥹
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile. Instant subscribe 😂
This is the definition of chaotic neutral
Cry it out Brooke! 💜
I love you but it’s a little cruel teasing Tiny Timmy’s somewhat linguistically challenged wife. Was his dicpic a thumbnail?
A) That’s not me. It’s a bot and I was extremely clear about that.
B) Women who mock other women calling them whores because their own husband sexually harassed the women, do not deserve my sympathy.
C) It’s up to you as a reader whether or not you mock her for her linguistic skills. Don’t put your thoughts on me.
D) while we are on the topic of being mean, we don’t mock men for their penis size here.
I don’t think I’ve ever blinked in fright before reading this post.
Bonus points to Thomas for using one of my favorite words — holler. 🥳
I love you!
I love you!
☠️
Keep those skewers sharp and the wit flowing!
Yes, I love you.
Duh.