No songs in the Bible? This is a guy who obviously never got hot and bothered in a Catholic school reading the Song of Solomon. (I almost joined the priesthood. The Song of Solomon and Proverbs 26:11 were two big reasons why I didn’t.)
Jesus Christ the last one. I mean how on earth could anyone think “you’re about the same age as my daughter, but I’m too incoherent to even type that out” would be a viable pick up line.
As a straight man I have never been hit on by straight men and my god, some of the things. I just. I apologise for us all. I’m sorry you have to be presented with this crap (including the sick making penis).
Don't read too much into it. These are hand selected for their humor. I could give you just as many tinder profiles of women who would make you cringe terribly hard
I mean I know what those look like and already knew that. However there are people that you don't really know, contacting you about dating so what's the difference?
These stats are so very good for a first post on a Substack. I am taking this as a yes and I’ll continue occasionally posting on here!
ALL CONTENT GOOD MAKE MORE
The Commandments trolling is epic! You’re an idol. None before you! If you were my neighbors wife, I’d covet thee
While you might have been acute, he was clearly obtuse...
No songs in the Bible? This is a guy who obviously never got hot and bothered in a Catholic school reading the Song of Solomon. (I almost joined the priesthood. The Song of Solomon and Proverbs 26:11 were two big reasons why I didn’t.)
Not to mention all the Psalms are songs
Surely they’re Psongs?
Gareth, I’ve just ordered a t shirt that says ‘surely they’re psongs?’ so I never forget this comment reply.
That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
👏
Number 3: Cheeseburgers. I snorted wine all over my iPad.
Jesus Christ the last one. I mean how on earth could anyone think “you’re about the same age as my daughter, but I’m too incoherent to even type that out” would be a viable pick up line.
As a straight man I have never been hit on by straight men and my god, some of the things. I just. I apologise for us all. I’m sorry you have to be presented with this crap (including the sick making penis).
“Do you not like penis”
Pal, I don’t even like penis - and I’ve *got* one.
I like penis. Just not so much what's attached to them.
That would be a good answer— “Mine’s better.”
I don’t know how you do this without throwing your phone into the sea. It is entertaining for the rest of us, though! :-)
That angle one is ripe for geometry pickup lines.
Im surprised it didn’t become a more protractored chat.
Ahh he didn’t have the right angle anyhoe!
Funny? Yes. Horrifying that so many men are this shitty and dumb? Absolutely.
Don't read too much into it. These are hand selected for their humor. I could give you just as many tinder profiles of women who would make you cringe terribly hard
My messages don’t come from dating apps.
I mean I know what those look like and already knew that. However there are people that you don't really know, contacting you about dating so what's the difference?
Proud potty-trained Boys! Thank you for that image.
Holy shit, I fucking LOVE this ! You girl are a fucking vibe, love it!
Oh my, I was not expecting it but this IS the funniest thing on Substack. Please do more 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for this 😭😭😭 it was everything I needed tonight
If I had same age daughter I would definitely tell her to love you.
I'd like to read more of these.