Horny History: The American Revolution, but make it sexual

It’s real history, as told by some horny dude in my inbox and me

Jul 04, 2024

This post contains sensitive content on misogyny and racism. Reader discretion is advised.

People were openly entertaining lovers in public.

Women too were participating, and female sexuality was discussed and encouraged through conversations and writing. People boldly made their own sexual choices. This sexual revolution wasn’t the 1960s, it was Philadelphia in the 1760s. The pursuit of liberty and freedom in the American Revolution was not limited to political power.

Before we dive in, you’ll have to read this post to catch what our next Horny History candidate is referencing and, not to give away any spoilers but you might need to read James’ comment too. 😉

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We need to pause here so I can give you the full poem.

“Girls who intend the heart to seize,

Must shew their Beauties by Degrees;

By full Displays they lose their Aim,

Tis Expectation feeds the Flame.

And gently fans the amorous Fire

Which but for that would soon expire.

The Breast which pants through Cyprus Gauze,

A Glance of Admiration draws;

But when we’ve seen it o’er and o’er,

It strikes us with Suprize no more.

We coolly own its snowy Charms,

But feel no violent Alarms:

We soon grow surfeited with those

Who all their Charms at once disclose,

And from a vain Desire to strike,

Treat all, with what they have, alike;

The female Rattle, Flirt and Rake,

The point they have in View mistake,

And formal Prudes, and gay Coquettes,

Instead of Cages, deal in Nets.

If Girls, to Admiration prone

Would only let themselves alone,

And not by studied Arts pretend

The Charms which Nature gives to mend;

Nor ev’n those Charms at once reveal,

But with Discretion half conceal,

Their Prudence would be well repaid,

By every Conquest which they made.”

Don’t make too many conquests ladies lest men get tired of admiring your breasts and your womanly body.

We made it out, but just in time.

We will never know what he sent.

Here’s another poem, published in Benjamin Franklin’s Poor Richard’s Almanac, this time about getting pregnant before marriage

Scarce had five Months expir’d since Ralph did wed,

When lo! his fruitful Wife was brought to Bed.

How now, quo[t]h Ralph—this is too soon, my Kate?

No, Ralph, quo[t]h she,—you marry’d me too late.

Today seems not much different than the way the women were living during the revolution. Women should be sexual, but only if it benefits the men judging her. Women should be sexual, but not poor women.

The revolution is still happening, especially now at a time when America faces this upcoming election. Will we win this time?

Sources:

Sex Among the Rabble: An Intimate History of Gender and Power in the Age of Revolution Clare A. Lyons

These Fiery Frenchified Dames: Women and Political Culture in Early National Philadelphia Susan Branson

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