115 Comments
User's avatar
Robert's avatar

Why do so many of them block you? I don’t understand. I LITERALLY pay to learn things from you. They get it for free and don’t appreciate it.

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Right 😆

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S Bentz's avatar

I am ready to pretend I am an old clueless dude just to get more lectures

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Sage's avatar

I can’t get over #2 😭 “I graduated high school, so no more books for me! Besides the Bible, which I will certainly understand contextually and with proper comprehension of its literary forms as well as its Ancient Greek and Hebrew even though I Will Not Read a Different Book. Have my baby!”

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Sadly they think books are for non-manly men. 😔

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Phila's avatar

And then who do mâle authors write for ?? Women only??

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Phila's avatar

A higher probability 🤷🏽‍♂

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Kiki Van Buren's avatar

P.D. Eastman did not disappoint

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Alicia Brown's avatar

"If you change the topic from farmers again I will file for child support." 😂😂😂

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Hannah Chandler's avatar

I like when you finally convince them that you're not compatible.

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

It’s always my goal but sometimes they are so stubborn. 😤

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mataliandy's avatar

That'll happen when they try to think with the wrong body part. Anatomy is so complicated.

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A Picture & Less Words's avatar

This is a master class in handling creepy men.

I also love the irony of a female historian being called “crazy” for writing about history by strange men offering to impregnate her.

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

It would be much more normal for the men if women didn’t think and just had babies!

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Steve the Builder's avatar

That's just cruel. Waving peace and prosperity in front of us like that.

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V. Moore's avatar

Ikr? Baffling they refuse to see themselves & their own behavior in its ugliness, predatory selfishness. Hypocrisy and willful ignorance. It's pathetic. They're predictable, too.

Eggplant pic within 5 messages, usually.

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John Fuller's avatar

No sense of aesthetic. Even as a guy talking to a friend, I would roll my eyes about a joke as juvenile as "big boobs = greater taxes." They can't see how insane it would be to talk about having a baby with someone they have never met. Something about the dating apps does some sort of reality warp to their brains.

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Freya's avatar

It's like they think social media is just a menu of women they can order.

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A Picture & Less Words's avatar

Where are they all coming from?! I’ve encountered a few on here, which surprised me. I guess they are legion.

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Anxious247's avatar

OMg, you made me laugh so hard.

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Thank you!

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Elise's avatar

Omggggggg this was so good. Lactating hard or hardly lactating? 😂

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The Messy Millennial's avatar

Omg hahahahaa and I thought I was having it bad on dating apps.....Hilarious. absolutely hilarious. On behalf of one single women in her 30s to another - well fucking done. You deserve a subscribe. Made my damn day. Lol.

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Ro's avatar
May 6Edited

Oh, God. They’re so outgunned.

I used to do this on accident all the time when I was young—before the internet. But not to Christians, just to frat boys that I would have to talk to at parties my friends would drag me to. They were about as patient to my babbling about Foucault or whatever was on my mind that night as yours are about history. I would end up in the kitchen reading the one book I could find in the frat house. Usually the dictionary or an 1950s encyclopedia.

But I wasn’t trolling them. I just thought very innocently—we’re in college! We should talk about the books we’re reading in class!

Occasionally, things would take a nasty turn. I remember one guy got furious at me, and backing backed me into a corner yelling ‘you think you’re SO arieldite! You think you’re SO aireldite!’ —for some reason I remember his name! It was Tim.

[ETA: I realized at the time he was mispronouncing ‘erudite…’ This is probably why I remember his name and this incident.]

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John Fuller's avatar

O.M.G. This is so funny. Haha. I have seen this a lot before. Friends on dating apps sharing chats with me. Once I was hanging out with one of them bored, and I got in on the fun. The chat read much as yours did, except I took a different angle. It's eye opening seeing dudes illiterate, dudes assuming she'll be interested in dropping everything and jumping on a plane, dudes who talk on in their own world as if the person on the other side of the wire doesn't exist. I think this is partially what is killing dating apps and social media. Bunch of old dudes from every corner of the world trolling for what can't be more than a chat fantasy. They should get a room with an AI GF.

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John Fuller's avatar

Also, I can't believe they would turn down a free tutored history lesson. I had so many questions while I was reading. Haha. Need book recs.

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V. Moore's avatar

All ages of dudes act like this.

I quit dating 10 years ago.

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John Fuller's avatar

I don't know what it is about dating apps that make people weird. I arrived to the conclusion that if you can simply have a normal conversation and come off as a normal guy, then you're ahead of like 95% of the field. And it seems to be a guy thing, because women seem to be quite skilled at coming off as normal people.

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A Declining Democracy's avatar

There’s a book in all this. And it will be a bestseller. 😂

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

I’m writing a book! I’m trying to find a publisher.

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SentimentalCynic's avatar

You are my idol and heroine, now and henceforth.

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

🥹🥹🥹

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Brad Neufeld's avatar

Brooke,

I knew about Shay's rebellion and the Whiskey rebellion and have really been fascinated with that time period, but I never heard any of the details of the farmers rebellion you mention. That is completely fascinating! Thanks for sharing. As amusing as it is to read you trolling these Facebook fools, I think I would rather read a post of you giving a history lesson. Thanks for the information!

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Thank you!

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Katie K's avatar

Oh come on! That one guy is exactly like James Bond if he were an evangelist! How can you not jump all over that? This man is out here sacrificing his time to go behind enemy lines and keep us all safe from the woke snowflakes! He's a total catch and you need to have at least 25% of his babies.

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hank a's avatar

Dead

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Laura H.L.'s avatar

Tale as old as time. For the rest of eternity, the worst ones can never square “you’re” vs “your” 😩

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