89 Comments
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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

This post was months in the making, but it was worth it.

Chris Jones's avatar

You are truly a delight Brooke, thank you once again for your service! I'm still just gutted from the double hit of Renee and Alex.

Keep making the creeps extremely uncomfortable, please.

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Here are the insults to use:

The idea of your semen anywhere near me feels like chemical warfare on my soul!

You're so grotesquely hollow and vicious that even imagining your touch feels like being smeared in disease.

You're the kind of man women warn each other about in horrified whispers.

Kari Bentley-Quinn's avatar

omfg this was just...a perfect tribute to your friend in every way. Well done.

(I am very sorry for your loss so the level of snort laughing I just did felt INAPPROPRIATE but...LOL).

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Humor within horrible topics is really what I'm best at. Thank you.

Kari Bentley-Quinn's avatar

as a fellow lover of black humor, there's honestly no other way sometimes. If we can't laugh about this insane bullshit, what do we even do.

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

It really helps ♥️

Dana DuBois's avatar

Brooke, I.... I'm speechless.

I'm madly in love with everything about this post. Except that it can't bring Alex back.

I do think/hope it would've made him laugh uproariously.

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

I hope so ☺️

Peter Spaulding's avatar

Was this exchange art? Was it science? Was it fucking amazing? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Thank you ♥️♥️

Steve's avatar

All the above, plus magic!

Mark Hayes's avatar

This may be my favorite post of yours.

Not only are you using your powers for good — but you're doing it for a very personal and absolutely right reason.

ThisLonesomeOldTown's avatar

You are a true patriot

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Grateful for you, our freedoms, and the red white and blue

krissyleigh's avatar

There was a guy on here with “Christ is king” in his bio who told me I had a rancid cunt because I replied to his comment asking him not to use the word retarded as an insult. 🙄 so I found him on Facebook (bc yes he used his real photo and government name) and see he has a pregnant wife , a daughter and two sons. So I screen shot the public photo from the public profile and respond to his comment with it saying “wouldn’t it be a shame if your wife saw how you spoke to women online?” And he FLIPPED and said he was calling the police HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ana Kiko's avatar

Enduring these kinds of messages from so many men is wild. You can handle much more than I can. I hope these guys look in a mirror some day and change their ways

K. M. Eggleston's avatar

my late best friend who navigated Wisconsin dating would have absolutely loved this and sent it to me, a masterpiece 💯 thank you for your service 🫡

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Thank you ☺️

Robert's avatar

"There's no way to explain how it feels but really good" what a poet

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

My heart melted

Amazon Anne's avatar

You’re my sheroe

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

well thank you!

chispaclara's avatar

This is a perfect antidote to Brad’s venom. You held a mirror up to him, though the instant shattering may not have allowed him to see the obnoxious persona - for now. As word spreads he will. Let’s hope he doesn’t have visiting rights to the impressionable 14year-old.

Mark Kalet's avatar

These fucking people. They think they can just be horrible with no consequences, like their idiot idol. Good work, Brooke.

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Thank you ☺️☺️

John Watne's avatar

Lifelong Twin Cities resident here, thanking you for the best use of the Brooke America persona to date. What a setup, and perfect insults and blocking timing to anyone who would say such vile things about delighting in seeing a good man being assassinated while protecting a woman being attacked by 21st century brownshirts.

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Thank you ☺️

CMH's avatar

Brad did not ghost you because he suspected something. Brad does NOT WANT TO WORK. in his mind ‘freelance’ is work only when he wants to, or can get away from his real job as an oil clerk at his McDonald’s french fry job.

Or, he loves the Brewers but doesn’t understand thing one about the game, about managing a press credential, or how to interview/interact with the real world outside of his fantasy life.

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

I like this take and it could be.