Occasionally people misread the page to think my focus is in earnest about dating, rather than being a satirical name referencing the way in which I push these men to no longer wish to honor my inbox with their manly yearnings. Sometimes it’s very sweet. My favorite being asking for dating advice. A topic I promise I am not someone you want advice from. This question was not one of those.
The question being why would it be okay for women to receive all the benefits of the body positivity movement while men are undatable for being under 6 feet tall. The obvious answer is it wouldn’t be. It isn’t women though that are the major perpetuators of keeping men from the body positivity movement and championing the beloved image of a chiseled tall man.
Curiously though, that wasn’t the answer wanted. The insistence came that this was something all women did. That he read online that women see a man under 6 feet and automatically will not even speak to him let alone give him a date. The idea of that being a measure of attractiveness isn’t something that would ever occur to me. I would presume, that this is an idea truly done by some women and I wouldn’t downplay the hurt that would cause.
This reply again, brought more anger. All women did this unless they were unattractive and could do no better. (Rather rude considering I just said that wasn’t a belief I had.) I’m not one to return anger with anger though.
Although his words were misguided the pain he was feeling was real. He was hurt over the idea that he was lesser a man for being short. So this post is for him. It’s for him and all the other men who experienced this, even all the ones who took that hurt and turned it into a venomous hatred of women. I’m sorry that happened to you.
People are going to judge you for your body, even unintentionally, no matter what your body looks like. You need to decide whether you are going to let that change your personality into bitterness. No one will have, whatever you have engrained in your head that the perfect body looks like, forever. It can feel perfect if you stop putting importance on what others perceive your body to be.
That is body positivity
and there is no reason you cannot have it.
Body positivity doesn’t come with forcing people who don’t find you attractive to want to date you. It comes from you being at peace with your own body and giving the same disregard of appearance to others. If you want body positivity, the first step is you need to give it to yourself.
You are right, of course. We as individuals have the right, (dare I say responsibility?) to gatekeep the opinions of others, real or imaginary, that we allow to influence our opinions of ourselves. While I have personally known some girls/ladies who would not give a short guy the time of day, they have been rare in my experience. Granted, I am just over six feet so would not have been rejected for being too short. That said, I was rejected for a host of other reasons: Glasses, skinny, pale, not terribly athletic, socially awkward, etc., etc., etc. ad nauseum. I spent my high school and college years in the friend zone and if I'm being honest as a 50-something happily married dad and grandpa, I learned a lot about what women want during those years in "the zone". I was rejected... a lot... until I wasn't. What does NOT get a guy the girl is carrying around a lot of bitterness and negativity and assuming that every girl one meets will default to rejection for one reason or another. That bitterness is evident and toxic and of course she's going to reject you... for that alone, maybe. If she's smart, and most of them are.