36 Comments
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Rocket Cat's avatar

He did not even speak of his penis once, slacker. That Methusaleh story being his favorite is gross and frightening to me for some reason. Math and science are lacking, maybe.

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Kari L's avatar

I love his ignorance of the homoeroticism between David and Jonathan. The very bestest of friends!

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

At least now he knows the titanic scripture.

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Rocket Cat's avatar

I have just been *obsessed* with his favorite story. Who would pick that one? And his rationale isn’t even spiritual, like he heard the rainbow numerology off a freaky Evangelical.

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Rocket Cat's avatar

I personally like how the Queen of Sheba comes rolling up with gems and gold and spices from all over. “Hey baby boy Solomon, here is some stuff. Let me get a look at you. Alright, bye.”

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Matthew's avatar

Jesus 😆😆

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

This guy would agree

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Matthew's avatar

Very little thought in their brains

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mataliandy's avatar

Goes well with their very little brains

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Kari L's avatar

I snorted out loud in public at the Celine Dion reference.

Also, I found this snippet re Pretty Woman: "Originally intended to be a dark cautionary tale about class and prostitution in Los Angeles, the film was re-conceived as a romantic comedy with a large budget." Sounds about right.

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Right! Honestly the story line of Pretty Woman bothers me.

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Sadly Practical's avatar

We had just performed My Fair Lady in my junior high when Pretty Woman came out and I was seriously annoyed they’d made Pygmalion again. I was so sick of that story, even with Prostitution and Fashion added.

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Olive's avatar

I think I knew them all!

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Yay!

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I. Rida Mahmood's avatar

"The audacity of her not proclaiming her love of the female vulva upon her first utterance!" I read that about 30 minutes ago and I'm still laughing😆😆

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Trav's avatar

I read this without my glasses and thought for a moment that he had cruelly accused you of having big eyes.

I heard a Bibel story once though about a flapper woman with big eyes and she had to be toned down by a Legion of Decency because she was too carefree and had a Bimbo for a boyfriend!

He was just talking about bugs though, and there aren't any in the Bibel, because they hadn't invented computers yet. Sad.

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

A beautiful story

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Brietta Kiele's avatar

I wouldn't claim to be a Bible scholar, but back in my Christian days, I did read the Bible all the way through and used to read it every day for many years. Even from the first one, before even recognizing what the story actually was, I knew it wasn't from the Bible.

It's really scary that people who are intent on shoving their religion down everyone else's throats really have no idea what their own holy book says and doesn't say.

Thank you for your brilliant public service, Brooke.

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David Rickert's avatar

I like how the filter turns your headband into some weird tan line

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

And still they don’t notice 😆

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Kelly's avatar

So good

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Brooke Teegarden's avatar

Thank you ☺️☺️☺️

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Timothy Wilkes's avatar

The Book of Shrek is my favorite.

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Greg's avatar

"For today's reading, we turn to the Book of Psalm-BODY ONCE TOLD ME, THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME..."

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Dennis's avatar

Gawd, I wish I had people like him coming onto the lot when I sold cars. I bet I could’ve sold him the undercoating twice and the extended warranty too.😂

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Ian Winter's avatar

Love the brick wall of “No I don’t think it’s similar at all.”

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Allegedly Angela's avatar

Part 1 might be my favorite one of all. I love that he was “so interested” in reading what you wrote that he didn’t even catch the lion king

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Digital Canary 💪💪🇨🇦🇺🇦🗽's avatar

By Jehovah, there’s a “Drunk History” style of series in here, Brooke 😹

“Drunk on Jeebus”, perhaps?

“Water into Whine”?

Perhaps you could incorporate the Parable of Simon and the Juniper Bush (or others from the Book of Brian) into a future interaction …

https://youtu.be/pCFBndlScBc

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Art - Smut - Nature's avatar

This is all hilarious but for some reason that fact that you replied to him saying “I think I love you!” with “Yeah.” really made me laugh.

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Greg's avatar

"There once was a lord of fiery temper who wished to make the whole world his own. He broke a peace of generations to strike down a tribe of peaceful nomads who sought wisdom in their mountain temples.

One young man of that tribe escaped upon a great beast and found companions among a tribe that lived by fishing the sea. Together, they traveled the world, and the survivor of that extinct tribe of seekers grew in wisdom until it seemed the very elements of Creation bent to his will.

And when the time was ripe, as the grandson of the fiery lord who began that great war made his final push to bring all the world under his burning reign, the young survivor of the first attack met him in battle. Though capable of striking the wicked lord down, the young man proved wise beyond his years, sparing his people's conqueror and delivering him to imprisonment for the rest of his days, ushering in a new era of love and peace."

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