Bibel Stories
for men
Hi I’m Brooke and I harass the right-wing men in my inbox with nonsense until they no longer wish to ‘date’ me. 😉 I do not know these men, and my messages don’t come from dating apps. They come from a satirical Facebook profile of me as a conservative. Read more about me in my introduction post.
Don’t forget to give this post a heart, share it, and read the Bibel. ♥️
On my Let’s Not Date socials, I reposted Part One of this post, a little back-and-forth where I drop “Bibel” lost scriptures earlier this week. A lot of you wanted to read more, and I happen to have a plethora of odd Christian men in my inbox to choose from. The following are real stories from “The Bibel.”
Part One
If you already read this one earlier this week, keep scrolling for a brand new Part Two.
Thus endeth the first portion of the Bibel Stories. I wrote that post about 4 years ago, so we can’t continue with the same man in Part Two. Farewell to him.
Part Two
To find the perfect man who knows his Bibel stories, I put up a call for help:
43 men messaged me in response. Some offered to teach me the Bibel, while others reminded me it is spelled Bible. Sifting through their swamp of pious nonsense, I found the perfect man.
I do not troll people without cause. I choose men who already hold bigoted views in some way. However, sometimes they do not always reveal those views in conversation with me, because they are busy trying to charm the “pretty lady.” This man is one of those. Let me begin by showing you a few of the things he has shared publicly on Facebook so you can know he deserves what is about to come.
A real kind-hearted right-wing man. For a few of these lines I pulled in help from a more religiously educated friend, because I thought I was going to be in over my head with Bibel knowledge after reading about this man’s past endeavors. I didn’t want him to immediately suspect my ruse, but it turned out, I probably didn’t even need to be extra diligent. These men are all the same.
See if you can guess these lesser-known Bibel stories.
Oh no! Are the obviously filtered, fake eyeballs too big? The funniest part is that he cannot even tell this is a filtered to hell version of me. And what would Gawd think of insulting a woman in such a manner?
AH men. Thank you to everyone on my Threads for the suggestions of what Bibel stories to tell in Part Two
♥️ Brooke
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He did not even speak of his penis once, slacker. That Methusaleh story being his favorite is gross and frightening to me for some reason. Math and science are lacking, maybe.
Jesus 😆😆