24 Comments
User's avatar
Kenji Nakamura's avatar

They draw the line at beastiality

Brooke Teegarden's avatar

The unfortunate reality of this is some of them are into it. If they seem excited by her job title I usually block because I’m not going down that route.

Sallyfemina's avatar

For women and men not themselves or their cousins.

Cheese's avatar

I find those manatees unbelievably wholesome and sweet. I don’t know why I needed to say that out loud, but look at them - they look so happy together.

Nora's avatar

☠️

Jordan's avatar

Please share more

Accidental duck lady's avatar

Dang, I was going to attach a picture of two of my girl ducks getting it on but you have wisely disallowed photos lol. Anyways, ducks would make an excellent addition to your trolling repertoire. I love them to bits but they’re absolute perverts.

andrea's avatar

and Richard 🤣

Hanging by a Thread's avatar

Your misunderstanding of "phone sex" just made me spit out my coffee 👌😂

Lisa Pass's avatar

I just had to share this with friends not on substack. I laughed to hard

Lee's avatar

When will I learn to not try to drink coffee while reading your essays..... The exquisite torture you inflict on those hapless texters is utter genius p0wning!

Thank you thank you thank you !

John Webb's avatar

A few minor homicide charges? So glad you were able to put them behind you and focus on godly work

Thomas Callahan's avatar

“All whilst praying to Jesus.” 💀

Grant King's avatar

Thank you for doing the Lord's work Ms America. I nearly died when I read the name Paisleigh.

Ellen A. Librarian's avatar

At first I misread that as Parsleigh. Maybe Brooke will decide to have another baby. These are brilliant

Karen R Connelly's avatar

You ma'am are absolutely hilarious. Thank you for the giggle fit.

Kass 🐸🏳️‍⚧️✨'s avatar

I was hoping those dear gay manatees would be here 💖 also the tiny gorilla reaction emoji to the first guy took me the hell out. Thank you for all that you do queen, you are an actual beam of hope and light against the dark.

Tyson Adams's avatar

hahahaha... and Richard

such good stuff

Jacob's avatar

they are so gullible