Horny History: The Texas Rangers

It’s real history, as told by some dude in my inbox and me.

Nov 13, 2024

This post contains sensitive content on the murder of ethnic Mexicans in Texas. Reader discretion is advised.

The American history of “heroic” Texas rangers and vigilante groups fighting off the bad guys, or, to be more accurate, the “bad Mexicans”, is a beloved Anglo story. Brave white men fighting against Mexican bandits. You, or your parents, might have grown up watching these hero stories in the popular tv show The Lone Ranger, or seen it portrayed in countless other American classics.

The slight problem with this history is, it isn’t true.

The Texas rangers were key to a period of time in which ethnic Mexicans were murdered indiscriminately and without legal repercussions. They may represent heroes to white, racist Americans, but they are no hero to the rest of us. Some describe this time period as, “an orgy of bloodshed.”

All Mexicans were bandits or bandit sympathizers.

Today too.

“ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS POISONING THE BLOOD OF OUR NATION. THEY’RE COMING FROM PRISONS, FROM MENTAL INSTITUTIONS — FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD,” rage wrote Trump.

“In Colorado they’re so brazen they’re taking over sections of the state. And you know, getting them out will be a bloody story.”

A bloody story.

They’re poisoning our blood.

An orgy of bloodshed.

“And with so many other great figures of our history, some today wish to rewrite the legacy of the Texas Rangers, focusing only on the harshest of narratives from the comfort of modern-day America, a comfort bought by the sacrifice [of] the blood of Texas Rangers, all while ignoring those sacrifices that they made to settle the West and establish the rule of law.” Words from Representative Chip Roy of Texas in 2023.

Those sacrifices they made.

(As a reminder I do not know these men. They are messaging a satirical Facebook profile of me as a conservative.)

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This post is updated from its original version from 2023. It’s more than doubled in length. As I get ready to publish it and my other stories in a book, you can support me by subscribing. All $100 yearly subscribers will be listed as a supporter in my book. However, you can also subscribe for $50 a year or $5 a month.

What’s for supper indeed Jim? Jim is the horny old man version of women my age who exclusively post pictures of their fancy food and their happy lives, blissfully ignoring the world around them. The following messages are new additions to my story on the Texas Rangers. Especially now, it’s important for people to know their border violence history.

There’s a museum dedicated to that “brave” ranger William “Bigfoot” Wallace, because, of course there is. “Bigfoot Wallace Museum” is in the town also named after him, Bigfoot Texas.

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Moving on to Anthony with more history on the Texas Rangers.

The Texas Rangers and the incoming white farmers enforced Juan Crow laws of segregation and prohibited interracial marriages. They fought against unions and broke strikes. Mexicans residents were kicked out of local politics. They lost their homes, their power, their lives. Many once successful people were forced to do manual labor for little money. The Texas Rangers were the army of the ruling class.

Uncle Sam picking up Mexican revolutionists with a shovel for the international rubbish can, 1915, Library of Congress

This history represents only a small portion of violence against ethnic Mexicans and all people of Latin American descent. Violence against them is a part of our culture. In the 1930s, President Hoover rounded up anyone who looked Mexican, including people born in America, and sent them on a train under his “American jobs for real Americans” program. 1.8 Million people were deported under this program and 60% of those people were American. Trump has repeatedly praised other times of violence, such as Eisenhower’s Operation Wetback, an inhumane mass deportation operation during the 1950s.

Border Patrol agents today are hurting people. In fact, in 2020 the Supreme Court gave a ruling giving Border Patrol agents impunity to shoot across the border. The Southern Border Communities Coalition tracks incidences of violence and calls for change.

A state of acceptable racism and violence is what follows convincing others that everyone of a certain ethnicity is a criminal.

Despite no evidence of such, Donald Trump consistently claims that other countries are “emptying out their prisons and their mental institutions into the United States of America.” (Actually, immigrants in the U.S. commit less violent crime than citizens.)

He calls migrants “tough”, “nasty, mean.” He laughs about this. “Why don’t you set up a migrant league of fighters” he asked the chief executive of the UFC. “Why don’t you set up a migrant league of fighters and have your regular league of fighters, and then you have the champion of your league — these are the greatest fighters in the world — fight the champion of the migrants. I think the migrant guy might win, that’s how tough they are.” “It’s not the worst idea I’ve ever had. No, it’s, these are tough people, these people are tough, and they’re nasty, mean.” “These people are killers in so many different ways.”

God would tell whether or not they were killers. God they better believe in now.

Immigrants should be given a “strong ideological screening.” If you “don’t like our religion”, “we don’t want you in our country,” Donald Trump declared, vowing to turn away those noncompliant when back in power.

“The Trump-Vance approach to the border is the way to maximize compassion,” said J.D. Vance.

They want to authorize workplace raids, and rely on the U.S. Military, the National Guard, and local law enforcement to round up migrants. Trump has said he would end birthright citizenship, a person’s automatic citizenship if they are born the U.S.

“You deputize the National Guard to carry out immigration enforcement. And then you also deploy the military to the southern border- not just with a mission to observe, but with an impedance and denial mission.” “The military has the right to establish a fortress position on the border and to say no one can cross here at all,” explained Steven Miller, Trump’s deputy chief of staff for policy in his second term.

Tom Holman, who promoted the separation of migrant families during Trump’s first term, leaving about 1,000 children still separated from their parents, will be his Border Czar. When the plan was first implemented, the government did not have the resources to safely house the children separated from their parents. Additionally, they didn’t keep track of the children so that families could later be reunited. Over 5,500 children were separated from their families during Trump’s first administration. “I’m sick and tired of hearing about the family separation. You know, I’m still being sued over that, so come get me, I don’t give a shit,” Tom told CPAC.

Unnamed officials from Trump’s first term have described how Trump suggested creating a trench along the border filled with water, snakes or alligators. How he said he wanted the immigrants who tried to climb his future wall to be “burned, maimed, cut to pieces by the wire. I want these people to be in horrible shape if they climb up.” They told of how he wanted the wall to be electrified, with spikes on top that could pierce human flesh. Trump denies these claims.

Publicly he said we needed to close the border because of threats of “criminals and unknown middle easterners.” On TV he suggested the military shoot migrants at the border. When told they couldn’t do that, he reportedly asked, “But would it be okay just to injure them? What if we shoot these migrants in the legs? To slow them down? That’s not lethal force, right?”

“If you’re here illegally, you better be looking over your shoulder,” said Tom Homan. “I will run the biggest deportation operation this country’s ever seen. They ain’t seen shit yet. Wait until 2025.”

“Round them all up and push them back into Mexico. Who cares about the law,” said Trump

“And you know, getting them out will be a bloody story.”